I was a little bored Easter day so I decided to write a little Easter themed fantasy trash fiction. This is a lot more light hearted than my novel, which I felt was a little to gloomy to work on during a holiday. I hope you enjoy it.
Grot Gang and the Thunder Tank
A short tale by
Michael William Edwards
The tank rumbled down the country road. The metal tracks tore up the ground. The tank was traditionally painted in a military green. Sitting atop it’s turret was a small green goblin. He wore a metal breast plate with a black skull painted on it. On his head he wore a green army helmet and a pair of goggles. His face was pockmarked from bad acne as a teenager; this lead to his nickname “Rot-Face”. He was the Commander of this tank. It was known as the “Thunder Tank”. It was called so as it had two canons that reached out of it’s turret, one a regular canon, the other was a magical cannon that fired an arc of lightning. The Thunder Tank was crewed by the Grot Gang, a group goblins who left the Great Dark Army to seek adventure.
There was Lard, a tubby goblin with a fat nose, always wearing a filthy stained singlet that was white…a long time ago. His job was to load the canon. In the Driver’s seat was Worm-Rider, a lanky, sharp face, grumpy goblin who wore black leather armour. The last member of the crew was Pixie, the tank’s gunner, he was the smallest of the crew with a high pitched voice. The others liked to tell him that he wasn’t really a goblin.
On the road ahead was a wanderer. A hare that walked on his hind legs. He wore a brown robe, carried a long wooden staff in one hand and the other held a golden egg.
“Dragon’s’ egg” Rot-Face said to himself.
“Whatcha ya whingin’ ‘bout?” Lard shouted from inside the tank. His fat head popped out of the top hatch. Rot-Face pointed towards the hare. Lard gasped as he saw the Golden Egg.
“Tell the boys we’re stealing that egg.”
“On it boss” Lard said, his ugly mug dipping back into the tank.
They continued on the road and came to a stop in front of the wandering hare. Rot-Face stood up with one foot of the turret roof and the other on the canon which lower down to aim at the wanderer.
“We shall be relieving you of that egg Rabbit.” Rot-Face said.
“I am a hare, not a rabbit.” said the wanderer with a grin.
The wanderer seemed displease with the response and this made Rot-Face smile.
“It is very much not the same. Rabbits tend to live together in burrows, where as us hares only pair up to mate, then continue on our own individual paths. Also we prefer to be above ground and don’t hide like moles. We eat different foods. Also, our fur changes colour with the seasons, you’ll never see that of a burrower.” said the wanderer.
Rot-Face reached his hand over the open top hatch and a moment later Lard threw up a shotgun. Rot-Face caught the gun and quickly aimed it at the wanderer.
“I’m not playing around Rabbit.”
The wanderer pulled out a pocket watch and checked the time, then he looked behind him towards where he had come from, then he looked past the tank.
“Are you sure?” asked the wanderer
“Of course I’m sure.” Rot-Face said, “That’s a golden dragon’s egg. It’s priceless.”
The wanderer thought for a moment, looking back behind him, then he turned to Rot-Face and smiled. “Very well then.” he said before throwing the egg up to Rot-Face.
Rot-Face dropped the shotgun and caught the egg. The shotgun landed on the tank roof with a metal thud. Startled by the noise Lard popped his head out of the Tank.
“What was that?” he asked.
Rot-Face looked down at Lard. A grin from ear to ear. Lard saw the egg in his hand, a smile reaching across his face as well. They were rich!
Rot-Face looked back to the road expecting to find the wanderer there but he was gone. He turned to look behind the tank where he saw the hare making good use of his long hind legs as he ran for his life.
Grinning to himself he looked to Lard, “Well, we definitely scared him.”
A shadow fell over Rot-Face and the tank. Lard’s cheerful face turn to fear. Rot-Face spun around just as a large golden dragon landed on the road. The world shook as it landed. It was easily five times the size of the Thunder Tank. As the ground shook Rot-Face lost balance and fell onto his back, dropping the egg into the tank. The dragon watched in anger as it’s egg disappeared inside.
The dragon reared up, spreading it’s large wings, it’s eyes burned with fire.
“Fire both cannons.” Rot-Face shouted.
“On the way.” Pixie screamed in his pitch tone.
A moment later the two cannon barrels fired. One jerking back as it fired a high explosive armour piercing round right into the dragon’s face. The second barrel, charged with a magical gem, blasted an arch of lighting at the dragon.
The dragon’s head disappeared into an explosion of fire and lightning. Rot-Face waited anxiously as the smoke cleared. The dragon still stood. It’s face grinning as the smoke cleared. It’s golden scales protecting it; even from the armour piercing rounds. Rot-Face’s jaw dropped.
Down in the tank Worm-Rider, sitting in the driver’s seat and watching the dragon through his periscope took action. He grabbed the driving sticks and yanked them both backwards. The tank lurched and began reversing away from the dragon.
Rot-Face looked for the wanderer and saw him further down the road, still running for his life. He look back to the dragon who lifted off the ground and began to give chase. Fire curling out the sides of its mouth. Rot-Face scrambled into the tank and closed the hatch just before the dragon let loose a breath of fire that chased along the road and over the tank.
“Curse that damn Rabbit and his egg!” Rot-Face shouted.
Thank you for reading.